Posted 2 years ago

Just Some College Application Venting.

I’m honestly a bit terrifed now, you know?

Well, I suppose you don’t- but I’ll explain m’kay?

I have fallen in love with App State- absolute- complete- love.

But I’m worried I won’t meet their expectations- mainly because they’re a sporty school and I generally don’t touch competitive sports with a ten foot pole (though I will watch them from that distance). 

I also don’t do band or ROTC so those are out- if that matters at all.

I do some community service, but now a lot (though I’m consistant with what little I do), I’ve held a spot in three clubs for the past few years of high school, I’m in honor society, I’m (just barely) scraping by in my Class’s top ten percent.  My career goal hasn’t changed since freshmen year (I want to be a Doctor- as in a general physician- with the option of exploring specialties at a later date) and the only real talent I have would be art- which isn’t at all relevant to my intended major- and I generally don’t enter my stuff in competitions/clubs because we don’t have any out where I live.

App State’s campus is gorgeous and I’d love to go hiking there- or just do anything there.  I love the acedemic options offered and I’m ecstatic that they offer honors college now.

But I’m freaked out because what if I’m not good enough?

It’s not as if I’m applying to very many colleges this year (APP, NCSTATE, UNCG, UNCC, and ECU) with the last three being back ups, APP being my dream colllege, and NC being the next one.

It makes me tense (and somewhat teary) thinking that I won’t get in..

Actually, no, it makes me want to be sick.


And maybe bury myself in a hole and never come out.

Admittedly I’ve dealt with rejection before- from NCSSM- but that was tenative and I’ve never really felt this emotionally invested before. (To summarize- I angsted, congratulated my friends who got in, and buried it in the back of mind with all the other junk that needed to move on from)

I don’t have alumani parents/connections (my dad only has his GED and my mother a community college), I’m not sporty, and while I’m in state I’m not a native of their county.

And the waitng.

The waiting for a response is going to kill me- slowly.

I’m applying for EA for NC, EN for APP, and regular for the others.

If I get rejected by all of them I’m going to go stay with my mother’s family (in the UK) for a year to build up cultural and practical skills, maybe attend a community college there for a degree as a CNA.

Then I’m going to try again.

So- I’m going to sign up for the SATs for the fourth time- hopefully bringing my math score up another 20 points so that if I get in I don’t need placement testing. (My verbal and writing are in the 600s so I’m not too worried about them).

But if I don’t get in I guess it’s all for naught.


I’m going to go sulk now.

Posted 2 years ago
Posted 2 years ago
Posted 2 years ago


This is where i’ve been the last few days with my best friends :) 

Posted 2 years ago


Hebron Rock Colony - 5/31

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The Adventures of an RUF Intern: Speak to us of friendship


And a youth said, “Speak to us of Friendship.”

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his…

Posted 2 years ago


Gorgeous sunset over the mountain in Boone tonight :) (Taken with Instagram)

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: Stages of Death and Dying the same for Chronic Illness?


How many of you know of the Five Steps of Grief proposed by the renowned psychologist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross?

Proposed in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying,” she explores the various stages people go through after being diagnosed with a terminal illness or experiencing the death of a loved…

Posted 2 years ago
Posted 2 years ago

What I know is I know nothing


- Socrates